The “Alphabet Caper” -How Santa Almost Missed Christmas

For those in compliance,
There was no debate,
Strict rules posed deep worries,
Would Santa be late?

To “spell” real danger,
“Initial” laws had gone wild,
In an “alphabet caper”
Affecting each child!

It started in Europe,
Where “REACH” rules are treasured,
The articles, ‘fore import,
Now needed pre-registered!!

This slowed down the elves,
In a paperwork maze,
While here, “CPSC”
Added fear to the craze.

They issued a recall,
Of Sue’s risky phone,
While “FAA”, ‘cause not licensed,
Forbade Johnnie’s drone.

Candy canes were impounded
By a concerned “FDA”,
They must be defective,
Bent over that way!

Santa’s sleigh would not see
The red paint job this year,
No permits for vapors
Topped “EPA’s” fear!

“IATA” now pondered
The gifts’ fitness to fly,
“ICAO” thought it was crazy,
Santa’s flight plan to try!!!!

“FERC” demanded
The full “ABCs”,
How reindeer-power worked
“We must know; tell us, please”!!

“EPA”, per “RCRA”, wondered
“What pollutants would emit?”
From this alternate energy
Before its use they’d permit.

And “OSHA” clearly blundered;
Santa’s workshop they shut down,
Until no un-safe practices
By the elves could be found!!”

The “FWS” and “green” groups,
Looked both far and near,
To assure Santa injured
No flying reindeer.

“Acronyms” had “spelled trouble”,
But it surely was treason,
Not to share with the World,
The true reason for the season!!

So to mind “Ps and Qs”,
Their rules he obeyed,
Santa figured it out,
And all fines had been paid.

Now, checking his list,
Being good was the key,
He prepared to spread joy
To all those, “A to Z”!

Then, he “spelled out” this blessing,
As he started his flight,
“Merry Christmas to all,
And to All a Good Night!”

Have a Safe and Healthy Christmas And a Happy New Year! –

About Stephen Kovatch